Nobody talks about how hard friendships can be.
Nobody talks about how hard it is to watch your friends fall apart in front of you or over the phone. To hear them in pain and know there’s nothing you can do to change it.
Nobody talks about what you do if you develop feelings your friend and how you’re supposed to pretend that everything is fine when they reject you.
Nobody talks about what you do when your friend betrays you and how you forgive them even though they hurt you.
Nobody talks about what you do when you hurt your friends even though they mean so much to you and couldn’t imagine life without them.
What do you do when you feel like a friend is just using you?
Am I being too needy or annoying to my mates?
Friendships are hard. Just as hard as relationships if not harder because if you don’t have your friends then who do you have? Hopefully, you have your family but especially at uni your family can’t be there for you all the time and sometimes there are things you don’t want to tell them because you don’t want to hurt them.
There’s also lots of different types of friendships:
- Low maintenance friends– I have friends that I only see maybe once a week or once every few weeks and we talk occasionally but we both seem happy with that.
- Friends who are like sisters– The kind of friends that you tell everything, have seen you at your worst and know you better than you know yourself.
- There are friends I haven’t seen for years– People who still mean a lot to mean and if they asked for a catch-up I’d be there in a heartbeat, I often wonder what they’re up to and I hope they do the same. I know we now lead separate lives but they’ll always be a part of my past and a part of my childhood, even if they saw my awful One Direction era. (Don’t even ask! Haha)
- Friends from the past who I wouldn’t want to see again– I have very few of these, but these are the people who I trusted for a time and then hurt me in a way I can’t forgive, they’re just people who I don’t want to waste my time on.
- New Friends– The people who seem to just creep into your life and you share only happy memories with.
- Friends you only talk about certain things with– You both share something in common and find that they’re the only person that seems to understand.
- Friends who used to be close– These friends make me the saddest, I’ve realised that we’ve drifted apart but I don’t know if they have. They used to be so close but I don’t think we’ll get that back again.
- Fake friends– The people who don’t really have your back, they don’t genuinely care and they’re probably just using you.
- The friends you always feel like you have to please– The people you can’t really be yourself around, you feel like you have to behave in a certain way to please. These people aren’t long term friends.
- Friends for convenience– The people that just happen to be there at the time but you don’t necessarily have anything in common with.