The Olivia Agar Guide To Self-Care

When something sad happens, a lot of people are going to tell you ‘time, time is the best healer’, and usually, when it feels like you’re going through hell you don’t want to be told this because you want the pain to go away NOW, not ‘in time’. You want to be told that this will be one of the lowest periods you’ll ever go through and that if you can just get through this then there will be light at the end of the tunnel. They are right (somewhat) time is a healer, but it’s not the time that makes things easier, it’s the distance you put between yourself and the pain, the pain will still be there but when you look back things won’t be as vivid, there’ll be a haze around it and you’ll almost question if it happened or whether it was just a dream.

In the meantime, whatever this pain may be, you need to prioritise yourself. I would like to put out there that I am in no way a health professional, I merely want to offer tips that have been working for me (I’m going through a pretty hard time at the moment, it wouldn’t be fair to say why because it also involves other people and they probably don’t want their personal life spread across the internet.) I also suggest that if there is an underlying problem or if things are getting tough, you should speak to a mental health professional, they will be able to offer better advice than I ever could.

So here are a few tips:

Limit the time you spend on doing things that cause you anxiety (for me, I need to spend less time on social media and looking at my phone in general)

Be kind to yourself, you’re doing your best

Give yourself small treats and reward yourself for doing things that right now might seem challenging

Make sure you leave the house everyday, even if it’s only for a short period, somedays this may be very hard but it’s important you don’t isolate yourself

Call someone you know who cares about you, even if you just chat about nonsense

Books, films and tv can all be good distractions

Maybe do something nice for someone else if you don’t want all the focus on you, you could bake, draw, write something for another person, do whatever you’re good at

Make the space that you spend the most time in as cosy and welcoming as possible (I hate being alone in my room on my own at the moment, it’s small, cold and feels very cut-off, so I bought a little heater and I’m considering buying a tv so I can always have something in the background)

Every day do at least one good thing, this could be the thing I said about doing something for someone else or on the bad days it could just be showering or making some toast

Have some quick microwave meals and veg in your freezer for the days when you have no energy, it’s important you still eat and this is an easy go-to

Download an app such as Headspace and meditate for a few minutes each day, trust me the app does all the work, you literally just sit there, sometimes it’s nice knowing that when your head feels so full you can just have a few moments of peace each day

Consider taking a herbal relief tablet such as Passiflora or St John’s Wort. I am not a doctor and this is something you should do a lot of research into before you consider taking, if symptoms persist you should definitely see a doctor, this is generally only a short-term solution as herbal reliefs can sometimes be more powerful than prescription drugs and are not as heavily regulated 

If you feel like crying, let it out, don’t bottle up emotions

Make plans on your good days, it’s okay if you don’t stick to them but you should fill your life with good things and good people

This last one might sound a bit soppy but sometimes it’s nice to have something to cuddle, this could be a loved one or a pet, for me it’s a particular hoodie that brings me comfort

Just remember you’re never alone in your battle

I hope if any of you are currently having a bad time that this may have helped a little, and know that whatever you’re going through, you’ll come out the other side stronger than you were before. It’s something you have to work out in your own head but there is absolutely no shame in having someone hold your hand as you go through it.



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