Afternoon my lovelies!
As I’m sure you’re probably aware, it’s Valentines Day in a few days time and like myself, you’ve probably been bombarded with shop displays, emails for gift ideas and social media influencers talking about the topic.
I personally think Valentines Day is a wonderful celebration to have, whether you’re in a relationship, single, whatever your circumstances. It doesn’t have to be about romantic love but an opportunity to show anyone important to you how much you love them. Which granted is something you should do anyway, you don’t need a day each year to remind you to do so but again I celebrate anything that brings a little more love into this world. Be it a quick text, a thoughtful gesture, sending someone their favourite meme, whatever you can do to show someone that you care and appreciate them.
However, there is a culture surrounding love that I don’t agree with, it is a topic close to my heart and a view I will always defend.
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else”- While this quote from Ru Paul’s Drag Race started as a way to inspire people to love themselves more, it begs the question, what about the people that can’t love themselves? That may never love themselves? Is the love they feel for other people invalid? Simply because they cannot feel the same way about themselves?
I, along with friends and family members have struggled and continue to battle with mental and physical illnesses in their various forms. I can’t speak for them but I can say that I probably won’t ever love myself because of it, at times I have reached acceptance but I’ll never reach loving myself, not with this brain and body. But I can tell you I’ve been in love, I loved someone unconditionally and my God it is crushing, but what I felt was love and nobody, not even Ru Paul can take that away from me. Sometimes it is loving somebody else that brings you a little closer to loving yourself and that is a very beautiful thing.
So for my lovelies out there who feel the same way, I instead ask you to be kind to yourself instead, to be a friend to yourself on the days that, that is possible. It’s much more important to know yourself, to know your triggers and to know what brings you comfort than it is to love yourself because for some of us this isn’t always possible.
lots of love,